I Want My Mommy

If Carter could talk, that is what he would say.

I remember the first time Monte cried when someone else held him. He was 8 months old. My Grandfather was in town from Texas. He comes for a visit only once a year and he was SO excited because Monte was the first great grandchild. My dad's whole family was at my aunts house for a BBQ, and we were there for a little bit before my grandpa showed up. When he got there I handed Monte to my grandpa and he instantly started to cry. The whole day I was the only one he would let hold him. I felt horrible. But it kind of made me feel good too. He stayed that way for along time. As a toddler, if I left him with my hubby, Monte would take his toys and play by the back door and wait for me. I'd come home and there the 2 of them would be. Playing on the kitchen floor. He would never walk into someone's house. I always had to carry him in because he was afraid I was going to leave him. And lets not revisit that first day of kindergarten. Or the many that came after.

When Hunter came along things were pretty much the same, tho not quite as bad as Monte. With the exception of my mother-in-law. Hunter LOVED her. One time when Hunter was around 14 months old she got to church a little late. Announcements were going on and she walked in, threw her purse down and went out to use the restroom. Hunter screamed so loud I had to follow her to the restroom. But he was mommy's boy too. When we went places I always wanted to put a sign on him that said "don't talk to me" because people would come up to us and start telling him how cute he was and he would scream so loud I'd have to take him out of his stroller. At a year and a half I could set him down next to me in a store and know that he was not going to walk away. He was way to afraid of people for that. He out grew it faster than Monte. Against everything I said I'd do, I sent Hunter to preschool this past year. (Monte did not go) But Hunter begged to go to school like his brother. So I caved. At the open house he wouldn't leave my side, but the first day of school he did great and by day 3 he asked me if I could just drop him off. I told him "no, I just can't do that". 3 months earlier he was still hiding his head under my jacket if someone talked to him. Where did my baby go?

My point of all this is that already at 7 weeks Carter wants me. He lets others hold him for a short time, and then he starts fussing. When I take him he instantly stops. That is a wonderful feeling. My husband always laughs and says "there is nothing like Mom". I can appreciate it a lot more with my 3rd baby. I know that the days of only wanting mommy will not last forever. While Hunter is still mine for now, Monte at 8 wants to be with his dad. I'm still the one he comes to for snuggles and kisses, but dad is now the cool one to hang with. He throws a baseball harder, can shot a basket better, and can ride a bike with no hands for longer. Dad is now the one to look up to and try to be like. And that is how it should be. But it still hurts to watch them grow and change. So when people comment on how Carter won't sit anywhere, I always have to hold him, and they ask "so what do you do"? I tell them - I hold him.