Things Are Good, Just Different
After being a stay at home mom for 10 years it was hard to get a job. At the time I didn't see any other choice. Monte had just gotten braces and hubby's insurance wasn't going to pay a dime. We had that new payment a month plus with Christmas right around the corner and the ever increasing gas and food prices I thought it was what I needed to do for my family.
As hard as it was, I still believe I made the right decision. It did take Carter a little while to get used to me being gone a few nights a week though, and I've never gotten used to it. My heart is, and always will be here with my boys. I've even had one of them tell me, "why can't things just go back to how they used to be?" As a mom that hurts when all I want is for things to go back too.
It's really more about the time of day I work then it is about actually being gone. Nights and weekends suck. There really isn't any other way to put it. But I have to work when hubby is home. We have no one to help us, and are on our own, but I'd rather have one of us here at all times anyway.
I started out saying I wanted to work a couple days a week. But it was Christmas, so I worked more. And it was every Saturday night and almost every Sunday for the past 5 months. Retail. What else are you going to do. That's when the hours are and everyone works them.
But then my hubby's plant got really busy and he started working a lot of overtime. And lo and behold we didn't really need my paycheck anymore. That, and baseball started with him going one way with one child while I went the other way with the other child (plus baby) and with me working every weekend we had absolutely NO family time.
Something had to change. I'd love to walk into work and say I was quitting. But what happens when I need the money again and I have no job. Plus I'd like to still make enough to pay for Monte's braces every month. Just to be sure.
So I went down to one night a week. No Sundays. My boss at first didn't seem to like the idea. She wanted to know if it was permanent. I said no, and as much as I'd like it to be, it's probably not. At the end of the night I thanked her for the "whole schedule thing" and she said, "Your welcome. Family is important". And I told her yes, for me it's everything.
The funny thing is I've never considered myself a working mom. Not working four days a week and especially not now working one. I'm still a stay at home mom in my heart. And until we can't pay our bills and there is no other choice, that's how it's staying.
As hard as it was, I still believe I made the right decision. It did take Carter a little while to get used to me being gone a few nights a week though, and I've never gotten used to it. My heart is, and always will be here with my boys. I've even had one of them tell me, "why can't things just go back to how they used to be?" As a mom that hurts when all I want is for things to go back too.
It's really more about the time of day I work then it is about actually being gone. Nights and weekends suck. There really isn't any other way to put it. But I have to work when hubby is home. We have no one to help us, and are on our own, but I'd rather have one of us here at all times anyway.
I started out saying I wanted to work a couple days a week. But it was Christmas, so I worked more. And it was every Saturday night and almost every Sunday for the past 5 months. Retail. What else are you going to do. That's when the hours are and everyone works them.
But then my hubby's plant got really busy and he started working a lot of overtime. And lo and behold we didn't really need my paycheck anymore. That, and baseball started with him going one way with one child while I went the other way with the other child (plus baby) and with me working every weekend we had absolutely NO family time.
Something had to change. I'd love to walk into work and say I was quitting. But what happens when I need the money again and I have no job. Plus I'd like to still make enough to pay for Monte's braces every month. Just to be sure.
So I went down to one night a week. No Sundays. My boss at first didn't seem to like the idea. She wanted to know if it was permanent. I said no, and as much as I'd like it to be, it's probably not. At the end of the night I thanked her for the "whole schedule thing" and she said, "Your welcome. Family is important". And I told her yes, for me it's everything.
The funny thing is I've never considered myself a working mom. Not working four days a week and especially not now working one. I'm still a stay at home mom in my heart. And until we can't pay our bills and there is no other choice, that's how it's staying.
posted by Life With All Boys at 7:26 AM
11 Comments:
I always struggle with the amount of of time I work outisde the house. It's tough and at the same time good because it's okay to admit that we have to work for the things we want and need in life.
It's a very humbling experience..
Life is so hard sometimes and yet it's so worthwhile - you are what your heart is and you will always, always be a SAHM.
I admire you for all your heart and hard work you put into your family. I know it's the most important thing to you.
Steph
Oh, Robin I know this subject is so close to your heart, and it has for sure been a transition for you and your family. You have done so great, and I am so proud of you for all the love in your heart, and the sacrifices that you make. You're a great mama!
P.S. I LOVE that you are sharing your heart again on this little blog here!
I hear ya mama...i can't stand going to work...but like you said, we are all doing our best. But if I still wanna be able to clothe and feed my baby (or we somehow get out of the hole called debt), I'll be working 3-4 days a week for awhile. We are lucky enough to have grandparents available to keep Jonah, so atleast he is somewhere safe and familiar. You are a great mom! And I can't believe how big Carter is in those pictures!
Jen
I love your perspective on all this! Even working from home I struggle so much because I feel like I'm not present at times I should be. All I want to be is a Mommy and sometimes I even wonder why I've started business I now feel obligated to keep. But I do it because I love that too, in ways I need that... Anyway, all taht to say, you've really been an inspiration. And still are.
xo,
Ashlee
Robin, I am glad you are able to cut your hours back, and that that works for you now. I worked full time until Allison was 18 months -just one kid- and it is very very tough.
Oh, I know it is so hard to leave your children when you need to work outside the home. I'm glad you have an understanding boss that is flexible. Thanks for sharing your heart.
So glad you can reduce your hours! You have worked so hard, what a blessing that you can focus your attention back home now.
We too have had times that I needed to earn some money to make ends meet. God is always faithful to provide when we need it, and what a testimony that you are able to have a job with some flexibility to cut back your hours when Hubby is working more and you need it less. I have always been a SAHM at heart, even if I've had side jobs to help out with the budget as well.
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