Mommy Guilt
Hunter bowls on Thursday nights. Not in a league, it's just an hour of fun bowling. Last night it was time to go and Carter was sleeping so my husband told me to go ahead and take Hunter. He would stay home. When we left the bowling alley I called home and my hubby said Carter woke up as soon as I left but he was fine. Playing and laughing. I felt okay.
I was home in 5 minutes, fed my family, nursed Carter, and then had to leave for a hair cut. I was nervous leaving again, Carter had been up for awhile, I knew he was going to get tired. He can get VERY crabby when I'm gone, but Monte assured me everything would be fine. I wasn't going to be gone that long.
I called as soon as I was on my way home. I didn't hear any crying through the phone. Good sign. Monte said Carter was fussy, but as long as he was being held, he was okay.
I walked in the door, and there they all sat in the living room. Carter's face lit up, he started bouncing on daddy's lap, but then I stepped out of sight to set down the things in my arms and take my coat off. BIG mistake. Carter started sobbing in daddy's shoulder. I felt horrible. I should have dropped everything in the doorway and scooped him up. But a snuggle/nursing session made everything all better.
It all sounds so silly today. I felt guilty for getting a hair cut? What? Am I supposed to look like a shaggy dog because I have a baby? Why do we mother's feel guilty when we do things for ourselves?
I guess I wouldn't feel that way if my babies weren't upset when I left them. (Lil Monte used to bring his toys into the kitchen and play by the back door until I came home) But then I'D be upset that they didn't care....
I was home in 5 minutes, fed my family, nursed Carter, and then had to leave for a hair cut. I was nervous leaving again, Carter had been up for awhile, I knew he was going to get tired. He can get VERY crabby when I'm gone, but Monte assured me everything would be fine. I wasn't going to be gone that long.
I called as soon as I was on my way home. I didn't hear any crying through the phone. Good sign. Monte said Carter was fussy, but as long as he was being held, he was okay.
I walked in the door, and there they all sat in the living room. Carter's face lit up, he started bouncing on daddy's lap, but then I stepped out of sight to set down the things in my arms and take my coat off. BIG mistake. Carter started sobbing in daddy's shoulder. I felt horrible. I should have dropped everything in the doorway and scooped him up. But a snuggle/nursing session made everything all better.
It all sounds so silly today. I felt guilty for getting a hair cut? What? Am I supposed to look like a shaggy dog because I have a baby? Why do we mother's feel guilty when we do things for ourselves?
I guess I wouldn't feel that way if my babies weren't upset when I left them. (Lil Monte used to bring his toys into the kitchen and play by the back door until I came home) But then I'D be upset that they didn't care....
posted by Life With All Boys at 9:08 AM
6 Comments:
Oh, I know. I have a hair appt in the morning and am praying it all goes well while I am gone... but also when I get home and Gray is happily sleeping on Jeff in the sling, there are parts of me that get jealous and want to wake him up and take him for myself! Ha!
Isn't this tough! We all know how good I am at leaving Xavier (ha! it's happened once!) and I even feel this guilt at home - those days when I've been cleaning or feeling foggy and don't feel like I've played with him or held him enough... why do we do this to ourselves?!
I can totally identify! Even though we feel that guilt isn't it great to know that they CAN survive with dad and we're needed just as much when we get home again.
Ethan did that exact thing last night, I ran to Hobby Lobby, he was fine the whole time I was gone. I came in the door and he started bouncing on Daddys lap, so happy. Then I went behind the door to hang up my coat and the freak out began! It makes me feel good, to know that I was missed. Have no guilt. It's good for you and them for you to be gone for a bit every once in a while!
Although I very rarely leave Avery (and still cry everytime), I do think that it is good for both mom and baby to spend a little time apart every once in a while. But that's just me... plus there is always such a happy reunion when you return.
It's so crazy what we do to ourselves really...my son used to cry when I'd pick him up from somewhere - that totally made me feel horrible!
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